My first daughter was born on July 21, 2005. In November of 2004 I found out I was pregnant. I was 24 years old. At the time, my birth philosophy was ‘oh my goodness, what is going to happen’. I chose nurse midwives, but did not really know what midwives were, or what my birth options were. I think that I made a lucky choice. At my first appointment, I met one of the midwives and spent 45 minutes discussing a variety of topics. I felt instantly better about what I was getting into, but still ignorant about what was going to happen. After my first appointments passed and I still did not have questions, my midwives gave me some homework: Go home and come up with three questions or concerns. I was a little taken aback by the assignment. But I felt as though I should at least put that much effort into things. Well, that opened a can of worms that has not be contained to this day. I realized many of my fears about childbirth stemmed from not wanting to be injured. I did not want an episiotomy, I did not feel comfortable with a needle in my spine, and I was not comfortable with the idea of not being able to move around freely. I will never forget the look on my midwife’s face when I came to my next appointment and declared that I would be having a natural birth in the birth center. From that day, forward my entire focus was on my health and reading everything I could get my hands on about natural childbirth.
I went into labor around 3 am on Wednesday July 20. I awoke feeling ill. I was convinced that I had a “stomach ache” for a solid hour, but then realized that the pain was coming in a pattern and I started to cry. I spent the next few hours trying to relax through contractions .They were coming every 15 minutes but not lasting longer than 30 seconds. Around 7 am, I woke my mother and told her I felt like I was in labor. We called my midwives and they told me to go about my day, eat, drink, and rest. The stressed that this was early labor and that it could still be quite some time. I called my labor team and tried to sleep. My sister arrived and tried to help me relax and nap. I was very uncomfortable all day, but was in a great mood. I was more anxious than I thought I would be, but the fear of the unknown is a powerful force in first time mothers. My best friend (who happens to be my partner in this blog and project:) arrived in the evening and we hung out laughing and talking, with little breaks for me to ride the contractions out. As the night wore on, I laughed a little less and paused a little more. Around 10 pm, we called the midwives and arranged to meet up at the birth center, since my contractions were now about a minute long and 5 minutes apart. The center was about 45 minutes away, and we rode there in silence watching the full moon. There was a lot of nervous energy in that car, but I felt surrounded by love.
We arrived at the birth center around 11:30 pm. My midwife wanted to check me. I was really hoping to be almost finished since I had been awake for so long at this point. I was 4 cms and about 50% effaced, not as far as I had hoped. I remember feeling sad, but also knowing that I could handle it. My midwife rested and so did my birth team. And before you think they were jerks for sleeping while I was in labor, my wish was to be in silence and for everyone to relax. I tried to sleep, but could not get comfortable laying down. I tried walking, but did not like the sensations I felt. After a couple of hours of trying to find a way to deal with the contractions, we started to fill the birth tub. I was checked again before getting in the tub, was six, and almost completely effaced. We made the decision to rupture my amniotic sac in hopes of speeding labor along (a choice I would not make again!) I sank into the pool and I loved the water. I was able to lose myself in the contractions. We listened to a rainstorm CD and I felt as though I was floating in the middle of the ocean. I found a pattern of movement and was able to stay ahead of the contractions very well. I labored in the water until 4 am and it was actually the most enjoyable part of my labor.
Around 4:30 am, my midwife wanted to assess my progress and I got out of the tub. This is where things got a little crazy, or a lot crazy. The water was my only relief and not being in it was torture. I was fully dilated, but the baby was posterior and her head had started to mold into my pelvis. My midwife wanted me to walk around, but I was not listening and was starting to panic from the intensity of the pain. I decided very quickly that I wanted pain relief and everyone started getting everything together to move over to the hospital. As I got into the car, I felt a strange, heavy sensation and became very shaky. The emergency room was right across the street and we were there in moments. I could barely walk through the ER. They got me a wheelchair and I was crying and shaking. As I got up to the room, the nurses were trying to put an IV in and get the monitor around my stomach. A nurse checked me and told me I was ready to push. I was in no way mentally ready to push! I heaved as though I was going to throw up and the nurses grabbed a trashcan. A moment later, my midwife came in and one of the sweetest nurses I have ever met came up beside me and told me I could do it. I calmed down and my mom, sister, and best friend came in. They told me to push when I felt the urge and as the next contraction hit I bore down with a strength that astounded me. I screamed, I cried, I babbled incoherently. My midwife told me to slow down and it was all I could do to not just push, and push, and push. By the third contraction and push, I felt the most intense burning sensation, followed by the strange sensation of my daughter crowing. I pushed again, her head came out, and before I could push one more time, she was born at 5:37 am. They put her up to my chest and I looked at her stunned. I think she was somewhat shocked too. I was instantly in love. She was perfect, but you could see where her little head had molded. I was so amazed that it was finally over after 27 hours of labor. She was my little girl, all 6 lbs 12 oz and 17 ¾ inches of her.
I went into labor around 3 am on Wednesday July 20. I awoke feeling ill. I was convinced that I had a “stomach ache” for a solid hour, but then realized that the pain was coming in a pattern and I started to cry. I spent the next few hours trying to relax through contractions .They were coming every 15 minutes but not lasting longer than 30 seconds. Around 7 am, I woke my mother and told her I felt like I was in labor. We called my midwives and they told me to go about my day, eat, drink, and rest. The stressed that this was early labor and that it could still be quite some time. I called my labor team and tried to sleep. My sister arrived and tried to help me relax and nap. I was very uncomfortable all day, but was in a great mood. I was more anxious than I thought I would be, but the fear of the unknown is a powerful force in first time mothers. My best friend (who happens to be my partner in this blog and project:) arrived in the evening and we hung out laughing and talking, with little breaks for me to ride the contractions out. As the night wore on, I laughed a little less and paused a little more. Around 10 pm, we called the midwives and arranged to meet up at the birth center, since my contractions were now about a minute long and 5 minutes apart. The center was about 45 minutes away, and we rode there in silence watching the full moon. There was a lot of nervous energy in that car, but I felt surrounded by love.
We arrived at the birth center around 11:30 pm. My midwife wanted to check me. I was really hoping to be almost finished since I had been awake for so long at this point. I was 4 cms and about 50% effaced, not as far as I had hoped. I remember feeling sad, but also knowing that I could handle it. My midwife rested and so did my birth team. And before you think they were jerks for sleeping while I was in labor, my wish was to be in silence and for everyone to relax. I tried to sleep, but could not get comfortable laying down. I tried walking, but did not like the sensations I felt. After a couple of hours of trying to find a way to deal with the contractions, we started to fill the birth tub. I was checked again before getting in the tub, was six, and almost completely effaced. We made the decision to rupture my amniotic sac in hopes of speeding labor along (a choice I would not make again!) I sank into the pool and I loved the water. I was able to lose myself in the contractions. We listened to a rainstorm CD and I felt as though I was floating in the middle of the ocean. I found a pattern of movement and was able to stay ahead of the contractions very well. I labored in the water until 4 am and it was actually the most enjoyable part of my labor.
Around 4:30 am, my midwife wanted to assess my progress and I got out of the tub. This is where things got a little crazy, or a lot crazy. The water was my only relief and not being in it was torture. I was fully dilated, but the baby was posterior and her head had started to mold into my pelvis. My midwife wanted me to walk around, but I was not listening and was starting to panic from the intensity of the pain. I decided very quickly that I wanted pain relief and everyone started getting everything together to move over to the hospital. As I got into the car, I felt a strange, heavy sensation and became very shaky. The emergency room was right across the street and we were there in moments. I could barely walk through the ER. They got me a wheelchair and I was crying and shaking. As I got up to the room, the nurses were trying to put an IV in and get the monitor around my stomach. A nurse checked me and told me I was ready to push. I was in no way mentally ready to push! I heaved as though I was going to throw up and the nurses grabbed a trashcan. A moment later, my midwife came in and one of the sweetest nurses I have ever met came up beside me and told me I could do it. I calmed down and my mom, sister, and best friend came in. They told me to push when I felt the urge and as the next contraction hit I bore down with a strength that astounded me. I screamed, I cried, I babbled incoherently. My midwife told me to slow down and it was all I could do to not just push, and push, and push. By the third contraction and push, I felt the most intense burning sensation, followed by the strange sensation of my daughter crowing. I pushed again, her head came out, and before I could push one more time, she was born at 5:37 am. They put her up to my chest and I looked at her stunned. I think she was somewhat shocked too. I was instantly in love. She was perfect, but you could see where her little head had molded. I was so amazed that it was finally over after 27 hours of labor. She was my little girl, all 6 lbs 12 oz and 17 ¾ inches of her.
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